Brannigans wake up call
by TheUnknownblur
Summary: Takes off right after clearence sale at the edge of the galaxy, This is the first time Brannigan hears that Fry and Leela are dating. And somebody also has a lover as well, but that story is very breif, but it gives you an idea. Plz review, or flame do ma
1. Chapter 1

_**Brannigans**_

**_Wake up_**

**_call_**

This is the second part of 'Clearence sale from the edge of the galaxy' yes I know the titles are crappy, but meh what are you gonna do, this is gonna be my last attempt for a romantic komedy for a while, you can scorch this fic if you want to, cuz flames are always the truth, well mostly anyways, read on...

* * *

As the little planet express ship was silently drifting back to earth, the gigantic frigate known as the 'Nimbus' was stationed nearby. Captain of this ship was known none other than captain Zapp Brannigan, the most heroic (yet stupid, cowardice and well you get the point) captain in the galaxy. 

"Sir, we have an oncoming ship in our radars, it seems to be the planet express ship." Said Kif.

" Ahh, the lecrustious Leela, coming back to the zapper for some more lecrustious love." Said Zapp rubbing his chest.

"Ah sir, that word doesn't exist."

"What, of course it does, in Brannigans big book of laws and words." He said with a proud smile. Kif just sighed heavily.

"Kif, prepare for ship-to-ship action." Zapp continued in a low voice.

In Leela and Fry's room in the PE ship, the pair still lied naked in bed, until Leela woke up and screamed at the face close to hers.

"I find it very…sexy when a women sleeps naked, probably because you were thinking about me weren't you?" He said with his "seductive voice".

"Alright three things, one, never come into my quarters while I'm not dressed. Two, your on my boyfriend."

Just then you can hear Fry muffling in his pillow and struggling to get up.

"And three, this." Then Leela kicks Zapp in the face, making him tumble off the bed and onto the ground. Then Fry emerged from the bed, panting and gasping for air.

"Oh really, and who exactly is this man you call to be your boyfriend." Said Zapp as he was getting up. Just as he dusted himself off, he saw the head of an oranged-haired kid, who was holding his chest to stop the panting.

"You are Leela's man friend? But your nothing but a pipsqueak baby weakling!"

Fry started sobbing. "I'm not a baby." He whined as Leela held his shoulder and patted his chest. Then Bender and Gord walked in.

"What's goin' on, someone gettin mugged? Woa!" said Bender as he barged through the doors. He took a good look around and figured out what went on. "Aw man the onetime I didn't pack a camera!"

Then about an hour later, the PE crew, Kif and Zapp all met at the bridge to discuss the situation they were in.

"Alright, so you've told me how this kid was frozen in some weird mysterious place were people drink beer, watch hockey and are part lumberjack, let me ask you what is this hellish place you call home." Said Zapp pacing around his chair.

"Canada for Christ sakes." Said Gord. And then he looked at Kif, who was right beside him. "Man, the Doop and the Universe rely on the hands of this moron?" He asked quietly.

"I'm afraid so." Responded the alien with a sad look on his face.

"In that case, our next order of business is to decide what to have for dinner, ravioli or hamburgers." Continued Zapp. Then Gord and Kif simultaneously sighed.

"Look, the point is that our ship has ran out of fuel because our temporary pilot was an idiot." Leela said looking at Zoidberg angrily.

"Hooray I'm being commented by my incompetence!" Just then Zoidberg broke out in tears.

"So, we are requesting that we get some fuel." Leela continued.

"Well there is only one problem, we are kind of, um, out of fuel, that is why we have been stuck here for the past two days." Said Zapp.

"You idiot, who runs a frigate that doesn't have any fuel?" Said Gord.

"Well uh you see, it was mainly Kif's fault, I told him to fill up the ship a couple of days ago." Continued Zapp.

"What? No I didn't, as a matter of fact you insisted that you would fill up the fuel tanks this week!" Yelled Kif.

"Ki-i-f, what did I tell you about yelling things out, you better watch your mouth or you wont get that promotion to lieutenant, captain!"

"But sir, I'm already lieutenant, and YOU are the captain, and that's the highest rank there is!" Yelled Kif yet again.

"Hmm, maybe I should look that up." Said Zapp, then Gord and Kif let out another simultaneous sigh.

"Alright, well there is no need to worry." Said Leela turning off her wrist thingy.

"I have just sent a fuel truck to our location, but it will take two days." She said with a sad look on her face.

"Alrighty then, this will give you and me a lot more time to… reacquaint ourselves." Said Zapp rubbing his chest. Then Leela shuddered and Fry held her tightly and looked at Zapp with a face of disgust.

"You are not to be 20 feet near Leela or I will make your life a miserable hell." Fry said to Zapp. Surprisingly to Fry, he just stood there with a smile on his face.

"You know I like the way you think Fry, so, in honour of your staying here, I challenge you to a game of pool."

"Oh, well ok, if you say so. It probably won't be a trap to get me in a prison cell or something only for you and Leela to be together." Said Fry with a blank face.

"Well um, no, well I'll see you in a couple of hours." Said Zapp as he walked out of the bridge suspiciously.

An hour later, Kif, Bender, Zoidberg and Gord were sitting around a crate, playing cards. Nobody really talked too much, except for Bender who was either boasting about himself or boasting about himself with song. After a couple minutes of that, Gord brought up a conversation.

"So, anybody else got a woman they are seeing?" He asked with a nervous face, hoping he wasn't the only one that was lonely.

"Well actually I do, Amy Wong and I are um getting engaged, but I haven't told her yet, when valentines day hits in a couple of months, I'm gonna ask her to marry me." Said Kif.

"Good, good, now my story, I've actually met a nice squid from planet squidhead, I have just been going out with for the past couple of weeks." Added Zoidberg.

"Shut up Zoidberg, it's my turn to speak!" Snapped Bender. "I'm not really seeing anybody, but I do spend a lot of time with hooker bots, so I'm pretty much satisfied.' He said taking a puff of his cigar. "Why, what about you meatbag?" He said pointing at Gord.

"Well, I don't really…have…one." He said looking sadly at the ground.

"Oh cheer up buddy, I mean sure you're a nerd, with no friends, no talent, and you have Canadian money. But I'm sure your girl will come some day at least." Said Bender, then he started laughing, causing him to fall on his back.

"Aw crap, uh guys can you help me, I'm on my back, I can't get up!" Everyone just ignored him and kept playing the game.

In Fry and Leela's assigned room, they were discussing the trouble they were in.

"Don't worry about me Leela, I'll be fine, he just invited me for a simple game of pool, I'll be ok." Fry said to Leela, who was hugging her reassuringly.

"Fry, just be careful, this is Zapp after all, he'll probably do something stupid just to get to me, I just want you to be alright, I can't have a boyfriend whose dead."

"Well alright, tell you what, after the game I'll come straight back and give you the back rub I gave Amy when I was dating-"

"I get the point Fry." Then she gave him a kiss on the lips.

A couple of hours later, in the games room, Fry had awaited for Zapp to show up. He had his hands in his pockets looking around the room. In the room there was the pool table, a little arcade area and a TV area. The walls were practically covered with portraits of Zapp.

"I wonder who that guy is." Said Fry looking at one of the pictures closely. Just then he heard the door open, it was Zapp wearing blue jeans, white shirt and a leather jacket.

"Even after high school it still fits." Said Zapp. Just then there was a rip, he turned around and saw a long tear on his back. He shrugged and turned back around, only to hear another rip, this time making his whole jacket shred into pieces.

"Euhhm, let's play pool shall we." Zapp continued.

After Gord, Bender and Zoidberg were finished with the card game, they decided to get back to the PE ship to get some sleep.

"Aw man, why do Fry and Leela always get the luxury and class, and we get to sleep in this stupid pile of heap." Said Bender kicking the ship.

" Hey, I'm the pile of heap, who's the one with the crappy USB connection, I mean I've had more of a better download from a windows 98!" Said the ship in its female voice.

"Hey! My connection is high in speed and pop up free, in which all the ladies love! Does someone need to be bended!" Replied Bender as they entered the ship.

"Well goodnight friends, I enjoyed playing cards with-." Said Zoidberg as he cut himself off, and realized that nobody was near him. "Ohhhh, how come nobody likes me, I just hope mutilda gets my craw-mail. WOOOAAAAAAAA!" Screamed Zoidberg as he looked out of the ships window; he noticed a fleet of omicronian ships coming nearby. Before he could tell anybody, he was teleported on the spot.

End of chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

Here is the chapter that is two, OR IS IT?

In the games room, Fry and Zapp were playing their pool game. Zapp was losing of course, so he decided to buy some time by talking to Fry about his relationship with Leela.

"So mister Frog." Zapp started.

"Fry." Responded Fry with his normal goofy smile on his face.

"Whatever, so how has it been going with you and Leela?"

"It's been going great, we've been having a great time lately."

"Ohh really, well I'm very happy for you."

"Cool, wait what? Shouldn't you be like mad something and jealous jiggy?" Asked Fry, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"What? Are you kidding? Of course not, why would I be jealous of a woman that I'm going to be spending time with for the rest of my life." Zapp continued.

"Oh, well who's that?"

"Leela you imbecile."

"That's nice. Wait she's my girlfre-"

"GUARDS!" Just then, three of Zapps soldiers grabbed Fry and hauled him to the brig.

"Now it's time to spend my life with the lecrutious Leela." Zapp said to himself. Then a long electronic sigh came from a portrait of Kif behind him.

Back in Fry and Leela's quarters, Leela laid in her bed wondering why it's taking Fry so long to get back from his game, just then, she heard someone neter the room.

"FRY" She said as she shot up from her bed, but she only seen the big pompous buffoon Zapp Brannigan at the door.

"Oh, what are you doing here Zapp?"

"Too comfort you, for you see, you're so called man Fry had just left with one of my crew, she's a blonde too." Said Zapp with a big smile.

"No, Fry would never do that to me…would he?" She said, with a tear starting to form on her eye.

"I'm afraid so, he even left this note." Zapp continued as he gave Leela a small sheet of paper. It had very crappy writing on it, with a lot of spelling errors.

_Dear one-eyed freak,_

_I have gone off with a blonde, because you are pathetic just like me, but not like Zapp, he's so great with his looks bravery and waves upon waves of men at his disposal, did I already mention how great he is? Well anyways I won't be seeing you ever again._

_Signed,_

_Paul H. Frog._

Leela started to cry, covering her face with her hands.

"Well, that is Fry's writing and grammar, plus he doesn't know how to spell his own name half the time and he is very crappy at writing with blue pen." Leela said, then Zapp realized that the pen was in his chest pocket. He threw it out of the door and it hit Kif on the head.

"Ohh jeez, not blue pen." Said Kif before his head puffed to about the size of a watermelon, then he fainted.

"But Fry would never do this to me!" Said Leela as she started crying again.

"There, there, I always thought that that kid would be a pain in the ass, but that's not important, what is important now is that you have me." Zapp said, looking at Leela. He tried to kiss her, but was interrupted by a huge rumbling of the ship. It was the Omicronians. Zapp and Leela rushed to the ships bridge, they seen Gord and Bender in there.

"Yo skintubes looks like the Omicrimorons are attacking us." Said Bender, drinking a lobrou beer. Then a transmission screen popped up, it was the Omicronians.

"We are the Omicronians, and we are attacking you!" Said Lrr, pounding on his chair.

"That comes a suprise." Responded Bender.

"We also have a hostage." Lrr said as he picked up a cage, revealing Zoidberg drinking out of a water tube.

"Hello friends, I'm being taken hostage! Isn't it great!" He said, wolfing down some hamster seeds.

"Shut up Zoidberg, it's getting really hard to not care about you with you yelling all the time." Bender said, crossing his arms.

"What do you freaks want." Said Zapp, also pounding his arms in his chair.

"We want you to move out of this section, because your ship is in our territory, and plus it's screwing around with our holophones, and we can't get good reception!" Said the Omocron yet again pounding his chair.

"Why should we move for these guys anyways? They have nothing important that we need." Said Bender, lighting a cigar.

"We are also gonna blow you up into smithereens." Continued the commander.

"Pfft so." Continued Bender, taking a puff of his cigar.

"And we also have a banjo.' Said the Leader taking out a banjo that had a blind over the guitar strings.

"AH what! Wha! Oh my, no app up chee, we need to stop these mad men!" Said Bender spitting out his cigar.

"Arrgh, this chatter and this robots consistent babbling are starting to infuriate us, more than Joey on what you call friends! I'm blowing this ship up right now!" Said the Omicronian again, this time pressing a button which was labelled 'blow up into a million pieces ray'. The commander laughed and pressed the button.

"Blowing up in 10 minutes." Said an electronic voice in the Nimbus. Then Zapp screamed like a girl.

"AH! I got too much to live for! Plus I don't want this valour uniform to be ruined." He said. As this was happening, Kif ran into the brig to free Fry from his prison cell. As he neared it, Kif could see Fry pacing around, thinking about Leela's safety.

"Fry, I am here to set you free.' Said Kif as he was deactivating the shield.

"Why? Did Zapp get in trouble with these alien doodles, and now all of a sudden fate is pointing at me?" Said Fry.

"Well, uh yea. How did you figure that out?" Said Kif with a look of confusion.

"Meh, it happens." Said Fry as he was exiting out of his cell, then they ran as quickly as possible to the ships bridge.

As Fry and Kif neared the bridge, the so called hero Zapp Brannigan ran out of the ships bridge, screaming like a little girl. Kif just let out a sigh. As they entered the bridge, they noticed that everyone was there, except for Zoidberg, who was still eating the hamster food on the Omicronian ship.

"Leela! Oh thank god, I thought something had happened to you!" Fry said, trying to hug her but Leela just shoved him aside.

"Oh really, shouldn't you be with your new blonde lover?" She said, angrily.

"What? You know I would never leave you, Zapp sent me to a prison thingy, just to be with you, see I even had these pictures taken!" Fry responded, giving her an envelope that said 'My time in prison' with a criminal smiling on it. She turned the envelope around and seen the pictures of Fry and his criminal I.D.

"So you don't have a blonde girlfriend."

"Noparino." Said Fry.

"Oh thank god." Said Leela as she gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Uh hello, we gotta problem here, they have Zoidberg." Said Gord with a nervous look on his face.

"And my banjo!" screamed Bender as he swung his arms in the air.

"And we're about to blow up." Added Kif.

"Blowing up in eight minutes." Said the electronic voice.

"Wow, it's only been two minutes? How is that possible? I feel like I have been here for an hour." Asked Gord.

"Well you see." Said Kif, and then he was cut off by another transmission.

"Well it seems that you are not moving, do we have to make the countdown faster?" Said the angry commander.

"No sir, but we can explain why, you see we got these fuel jiggies, and these things aren't filled with fuel, so we're kinda stuck." Said Fry, sitting down in the captain's chair.

"I see, but this still isn't solving our holophone reception, this still infuriates us!"

"Are you using virgin scleptorcks Holophone service?"

"Why no."

"Well get it, it always has good reception, and it comes with my five favourite planets to crush."

"Well alright, but we still need a human sacrifice as punishment for earths incompetence." Just then Leela was starting to fade away.

"Why can't it be Bender!" Leela screamed, as she was teleported to the Omicronian ship.

"Nooo! Screamed Fry as she disappeared. Then he turned to Kif, shaking him frantically.

"Do you have any transporters! Like on Star Trek!" Said Fry.

"Um, I don't know, wait, I think there is one in, oohhh, Zapps quarters."

"K thanks." Said Fry, and then he darted off. As soon as he entered through the door of Zapps quarters, an electronic voice said, "Hey there baby, you've reached the Zapper Zone, bam." Fry rolled his eyes and continued on to the transporters. He found them in a utility closet, which was filled with Zapps velour uniform and small under- well you don't wanna know. Fry then went through the transpoter and found himself in the hangar of the Omicronian ship. It was a gigantic room, filled with large trailers and ships that had created a one-way path to the bridge. He wandered around the large ships hangar until some nearby guards spotted him.

"Hey! We have an intruder!" One Guard yelled. Then he waved over four guards and they came charging at him.

"Get Him!"

Fry didn't know what to do, he looked around, there was nowhere to run, other than the exit that they guarded, or open space. His only chance was to fight. As the guards closed in on him, he backed up slowly; luckily they didn't have their ray guns, but weird looking space clubs. Fry was surrounded in seconds; their muscles on their torsos were to strong for any of Fry's blows, so he did the only thing he could do, kick them in the kneecaps. He kicked the one right in front of him. To his surprise, the creature went down, whimpering in pain. His comrades came to his side.

"Ow it…it hurts." The victim said as he was sobbing.

"Hey man, that was uncalled for." One of the guards said.

"We better let the bully through!" Said the other, and they cleared a path for him. Fry entered the brig, in which Zoidberg, Leela and Bender's Banjo stood in the three different cells.

"Good job Fry, I knew you could do it." Said Leela as Fry pulled a plug that powered the shields.

"Being saved by a friend, what an honour." Then in a split second, Zoidberg found himself lonely again.

"GLEEH, at least they'd warn me before they bolt out like that."

As the three made their way to the transporters, Lrr and his guards blocked their path and then surrounded them.

"And where do you think your going?" Said Lrr as he pulled out his ray gun.

"This!" Said Fry as he powered up his leg for a kick in the knee, but then Lrr nodded and showed him that he was wearing kneepads.

"Oh." Said Fry as he frowned. Then from out of nowhere, Leela jumped and whacked Lrr in the back of the head with Benders banjo. He went tumbling to the ground. As the three rushed out, Zoidberg screamed and cut up his cape, then ran off.

"You bullies!" Yelled Lrr as he was trying to get up from the blow to the head.

As all three exited the vessel, the omicronian ship's engines were starting up. They entered the Nimbus' bridge, only to find Zapp whimpering and shaking in his chair. Bender and Gord were nowhere to be seen. Just then a transmission from the enemy ship appeared.

"People of that junk pile…sniff…we have come to an agreement, and decided to let you go, man why did you guys have to be so rough." Lrr said as he was crying, then the ship blasted off.

All of a sudden, Zapps whimpering suddenly stopped, and he stood up in his usual boastful posture.

"And once again, I Zapp Brannigan managed to save the day." Everybody in the room sighed simultaneously. Then Zapp looked at Leela seductively (if that's what you want to call it).

"Well Leela, are you ready to leave this pipsqueak and make sweet, sweet love to a better, heroic more Lucritious man." He said in a low voice.

"Zapp! I have some things to say, first off, Fry isn't a pipsqueak, second off, he is better than you _In and out_ of bed, and third off, you are the worst excuse for a captain I have ever seen in my life!" Screamed Leela. "And fourth of all, the fuel truck is here so we can finally get out of here!" To her surprise, Zapp still stood there, with that same smile on his face.

"Tsk, tsk, you'll be back, they always come to the Zapper at the end." He said as he patted her on the butt. Before she could even turn around to punch him, she had seen him on the ground rubbing his head.

"First of all, don't ever touch my girlfriend like that ever again! And second off, Lucritious isn't a word! I know because I spent all night looking for words that don't exist!" Said Fry as he rubbed his knuckles. "Come on Leela, let's go home!" He said as he took her arm and left. Then they heard Kif behind them.

"Wait! Tell Amy that I love her! And give her this letter; I was going to send it when we got our fuel back." Said Kif as he ran up to them, and then he gave them the note.

As they neared the PE ship, they spotted Bender and Gord enter the cargo bay of, with lot's of loot in their hands.

"So I see you boys have been pretty busy looting the place." Leela said with a large grin on her face. She didn't care, because she was happy with the events that had just taken place a couple of minutes ago.

"Oh uh yea, we decided to load the ship up with valuables and emergency supplies just in case we had survived a big shattering explosion." Said Gord looking around nervously.

"Well it looks like the ship is already fuelled what not, so we can leave. I'm going to retire to my quarters and bathe in barnacles why not." Said Zoidberg as he scuttled and whooped to his room.

"Yea, well me and Gordo here are going to retire to our room, to think of more plots hehehehehe." Said Bender as they went to their quarters.

"Well we better get out of this hell hole before Zapp tries to come on to me again." Said Leela as she shuddered at the thought. Then Fry patted her on the shoulder.

"It's ok Leela, if he tries to touch you again, I'll just punch him." He said in a low soft reassuring voice. They just smiled at each other until she blasted off to earth. They decided to use the autopilot this time; he didn't get near any martinis this time so everything was fine.

While everybody on the ship was sleeping, Fry and Leela were making Love (Bow chicka bow-bow) yet again, and were enjoying every movement touch and second of it.

After about two whole hours (Yes 2 WHOLE hours) of doing their business, they lay down beside each other gazing at the stars, wondering what tomorrow will bring them, and then they both looked at each other. They couldn't stop staring at each other for some strange reason, until they both fell asleep beside each other. As they woke up, they had seemed to reach earth, and were going to land in 30 minutes. They just decided to lie there in each other's arms. (and no I can't bang my head on my keyboard this time, I might get a concussion, doctors orders). This moment was ruined yet again when they heard a scream from Bender and Gord's quarters.

"AAAH! My banjo! It's ruined! FRY AND LEELA! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THEM I'LL." Said Bender stomping into Fry and Leela's quarters. As he waltzed in, he noticed that they were naked.

"Aw man, can't you two just stop with the DNA squirting already, I'm getting tired of seeing you two naked, I was going to come in here about my banjo, but I've lost my appetite for beating you skin packages faces in, I'm going back to gather my loot." He said as he walked to the cargo hold.

As the crew landed in the PE building, they noticed that it was nighttime; they have been gone for a long time.

"Ahh the night, this is perfect, come on Gord, we gotta lotta stuff to bring back to the pawnshop." Said Bender as he pointed Gord to the door.

"Aye, Aye sir." He said as he was carrying a large backpack full of expensive parts. But he could barely make it to the door until he was crushed by the weight.

Fry and Leela went straight home and went to bed, thinking about what had happened in the past couple of days, and how happy he was to have her. He smiled as he looked down at her, resting on his chest.

_This is why I came to the future, not only to stop brain guys, in which I don't know where that came from, but is to be with her, to love her, and for her to be with me, and love me. Maybe my life has come for the better. _Fry thought to himself before he fell asleep. As he dozed off, a suspicious nibbler looked at Leela very closely.

_Now we definitely know whom to protect when they come back._ Thought the nibblionian to himself, and then he fell asleep.

END,

Ok, well that's enuff romance for one two-part series, for now (Bwahahaah). I'm finally going to add my favourite character of them all, Robo Santa in my next fic. Hope you enjoyed ma stories so far. Cya's later.


End file.
